Attack of the Teacher Creature
by garfieldodie
Summary: Sequel to CYIT? Calvin and Hobbes run away from home after the TV is locked up. They decide to live in the deserted part of town in an elementary school. However, great evil lives in that school... Complete!
1. A Series of SemiUnfortunate Events

It was July in the unnamed town in the unnamed state. Our story takes place in the unaddressed house owned by the unnamed adults who had a named child. Calvin was that child, of course. He and his best friend, Hobbes, were reclining in the bedroom in the unaddressed house. They were enjoying their summer greatly. They had just saved the world from the powers of imagination, and now that Calvin had gotten over the fact that no one remembered the events, Calvin and Hobbes were enjoying their summer. They had watched TV, read comic books and played Calvinball all day and each day. Every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday, they held GROSS meetings. They continued to have their little plans to bomb Susie obliterated in their faces, but they got medals anyway.

"Summer vacation…," Calvin sighed. "Whoever thought it up should be given the Nobel Prize. It sure beats working in the fields!"

Hobbes didn't reply. He was wrapped up into his story about the Braden Brothers Issue Number 228.

They could hear the sounds of something moving downstairs.

Hobbes snapped out of his trance and looked up.

"Are your parents playing Twister again?"

"If that's the case, it's a good thing we have the hospital on speed dial," Calvin said, not looking up.

However, the noises seemed to grow louder. There were several manly grunts from the living room.

Calvin grew nervous. "You don't suppose that—"

"He's in space, and he's not coming back," Hobbes said, referring to Retro. "Let's leave at that, okay?"

"I wasn't suggesting that, idiot," Calvin growled. "I'm saying maybe Dad's mutating into some hideous beast from the Planet Zorgywogry!"

Hobbes paused and looked up at his short, naïve friend.

"Okay, no comic books for the rest of the month," he said in an authoritive tone.

"Shut up and let's go see."

They dropped their comic books and scurried downstairs. They skidded to a halt in the living room.

_Something is very wrong here_, Calvin thought. _I can feel it_.

He looked around the living room. Mom and Dad were at their respective chairs, moving their lips over the books they were reading. The fireplace had been closed for the summer, so it had nothing but ashes. The pictures sat on the fireplace with spider webs draped lovingly around them. Dad's only Employee of the Month plaque was hung on the wall as dusty and unlooked at as ever. The same applied to the paintings and photo collages. The throw rug was as tacky as before. Everything was normal-looking.

Suddenly, Calvin knew.

He scurried over to the other side of the room with his stuffed tiger. He stared at four little dents pressed into the carpet. His beloved viewing box was gone. The box he worshiped so much had been taken away! His eyes bulged. He had to put a hand on his stuffed tiger to balance himself.

When the nauseating feeling was gone, Calvin whipped around to face his parents. He knew darn well who had done this.

"Dad," said Calvin.

Dad ignored him and continued reading.

"Dad, we have to talk."

Still, Dad failed to respond.

Calvin smacked his forehead and grabbed his father by the ankle. He jerked him right out of the chair.

"Calvin!" yelled Dad.

"Why did you do that?" Mom demanded.

Calvin pointed to the carpet near his stuffed tiger where the little dents were.

"We seem to be missing a major appliance," the little six year-old said.

"Yes, the TV is gone," said Dad. "I locked it in the closet."

Calvin jumped Dad and grabbed his glasses off his face. He looked through them. "Do you see evil demons through these things that tell you to be a cruel man?"

Dad snatched the glasses back. "You've been doing nothing but watch television since you got out of school!" he explained. "That's not good for you."

Calvin was about to try and remind him about the Imaginator incident, but he stopped himself. _There's no point in trying_, he said.

"Besides, most television programs are just garbage anyway," Dad went on.

"Junk?" Calvin almost yelled. "_Loony Tunes_? _Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy_? _Garfield and Friends_? You call that 'junk'?"

"Well of course! They're animated! You just get a bunch of cheap laughs from them that don't make sense later on! Besides, they just waste time! You could be outside getting several things accomplished. You'll never make it in life if you just sit around doing nothing!"

Calvin tried to score a few points in the argument.

"I… I could, um… I could be the governor of Massachusetts!" he said quickly.

"He's got you there," Mom said, not looking up from her book.

Dad rolled his eyes. "Even so, I think we'll all be better off this way," Dad concluded as he sat down again. He picked up his book and continued reading.

"We'll all be bored to death this way!" Calvin corrected. He grabbed the stuffed tiger and stomped upstairs to his room.

He yanked the door open and slammed it so hard the house shook. Then he opened it again and actually went in. He slammed it again, twice as hard. Then he opened it once more, let Hobbes in, and slammed so hard that the doorknob seemed to fall off.

Calvin scowled and ignored it. He jumped up on the bed and screamed into the pillow.

Hobbes sighed and put the doorknob back on the door.

"Some Mr. Entertainment _he_ is," Calvin grunted.

"Like this is gonna interfere with our usual schedule anyway," Hobbes snorted. "We just need to have extra GROSS meetings is all."

"Hey, even _I_ can't come with enough slimy girls to last us three hours!"

"Wow, a weakness!" Hobbes gasped. "Amazing. Simply amazing."

Mom walked in the door. "By the way, Calvin," she said. "I'm taking you to the doctor this afternoon for your annual physical."

Still face in his pillow, Calvin's muffled reply was, "Just when I thought this day couldn't get any worse."

"He'll probably give you a shot."

Calvin had to clutch the mattress to keep from floating into the air from the force of any upcoming shouts.

"Also, I've decided that we won't be buying you anymore water balloons. You've been getting into too much with that GROSS club. I'm getting your father to tear down your tree house."

Calvin clutched harder to the sheets on the mattress. The scream was almost there.

"Also, we're having dinner at the Derkins' house tonight after we get back. We'll be having boiled cabbage and broccoli. I want you to sit with Susie at the small table. I'll be back in half an hour to take you."

She left.

Hobbes turned and faced Calvin. He could hear the sound of a tea kettle whistling as steam poured from Calvin's ears. The boy's body was vibrating wildly. His scream was in his throat.

"Fire in the hole!" Hobbes cried. He ducked into the closet.

Calvin couldn't hold onto the mattress as he suddenly exploded in fury.

"AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGHH!" he yelled. He was as loud as possible. He slowly calmed himself down.

Hobbes peeked out of the closet. "Was that you or Mt. St. Helen?"

Calvin snarled in absolute rage.

"I don't know why we bothered risking our lives for those jerks!" he hissed angrily. "They haven't been grateful people at all! Just because ol' poofy sideburns is in space now, they think it's safe to be the idiots they were before. I'm not a hero, apparently. I can not go on like this!"

"What do you propose we do?" Hobbes asked. "Make a petition to ban your parents from the neighborhood?"

"Don't joke, Hobbes," Calvin snapped. "We're not going to spend one more moment in this TV-hating, girl-liking, doctor-going-to environment! Pack your toothpaste. We're running away from this sickening wasteland those miscreants call home!"

Hobbes looked at Calvin with question in his eyes. Was this kid serious?

"Are you serious? Every time we leave this house, we get into trouble!"

"I don't care! We are getting out of here!"

And they did, too.


	2. The Calvin and Hobbes Moving

Calvin and Hobbes had soon loaded up their bags, and they were ready to roll.

They had packed comic books, cookies, potato chips, sleeping bags, tuna, pillows, pocket change, a small bag of airline peanuts, a magic marker, a Captain Napalm poster, more tuna, more comic books, extra clothes, a notepad, a piece of stale cheese and more tuna. Oh, and did I mention tuna?

They soon made it to the end of the block. Frowning, Calvin looked at the contents in his bag. "This is not going to last us till the night," he decided. "Hobbes, how much tuna and comic books did you bring?"

Hobbes opened his bag. It had only one comic book, and the rest of the contents included fifty cans of tuna.

"Survival of the Fiercest," he said simply. "I'm a tiger of priorities."

"Too bad packing a brain isn't on your list of priorities," Calvin snorted. "You expect me to live off of tuna fish?"

"No, I didn't actually think to pack food for you. I thought you'd be bright enough to pack your own tuna."

Calvin slapped his forehead and sighed. "Come on. It'll be getting dark in a few hours, and we still have to find a place without girls to stay in."

Hobbes agreed, and they set off.

Unfortunately, Calvin was very popular and well known in his neighborhood. In fact, he was extremely popular and well known, and as a result, no one would take him in. No matter how much he begged as time went on, he got nothing but a flat face whenever he asked, mainly because he was too close to the front doors.

He rubbed his pinkened nose as he went down the front walk of the last house they'd been to after walking for fifty-five blocks.

"I can't believe this!" Calvin said indignantly. "You cause one or two minor riots and a bull stampede, followed by several the water balloon bombs of '98, and the neighbors think you're a troublemaker."

"Gee, some people," Hobbes said, rolling his eyes.

Calvin ignored him and peered down the street. They were almost at the part of town where the sidewalks were cracked and the wind swept old newspapers down the streets. MR. SPEEDY DRY-CLEANING, CARTER'S COSTUMES, A-1 HARDWARE—the signs on the empty shops were all old faded.

Calvin sat down to massage his tired feet.

"Calvin, I refuse to sleep on the sidewalk. There must be a place for us somewhere."

Calvin didn't listen he was too busy sniffing a familiar smell in the air. "Do you smell that?"

Hobbes' keen sense of smell kicked in at that. He sniffed long and hard.

"Well?"

Hobbes held up his hand to keep him quiet. He sniffed a little more. He sniffed. He snorted. He nearly inhaled an entire monarch butterfly. He looked around to figure out where the smell was coming from. A large grin spread across his face.

"What is it?" Calvin asked impatiently.

"Tuna!" he cried.

"What?"

"Tuna! I smell it! Tuna is brewing in that part of town! Come on!"

"But we have an afternoon's worth of tuna right here! Get back here!"

But Hobbes ignored him and continued on after the wonderful aroma.

Calvin groaned and grabbed both of the bags. He hurried after him, but not as quickly.

Hobbes weaved through the deserted buildings and such until he spotted a place just ahead. It was an elementary school that was overgrown with grass and the playground falling apart. The windows were broken and the roof continued to creak and groan.

Even though Hobbes liked any place that served tuna, something told him that he oughta back away from it.

Calvin finally caught up to him, out of breath.

"You've got a lot of nerve leaving me to carry _your_ luggage!" he snapped.

"Never mind," Hobbes said. "Let's get away from that building."

"Why? Isn't that where the smells are coming from?"

"Yes, and I think it all could be an elaborate plan to lure into that abandoned elementary school."

Calvin looked at the school across the street.

"Cool!" he said. "Let's foil the elaborate plan!"

He grabbed his bags and scurried across the street, or he would have had Hobbes not grabbed the bags that swung behind Calvin's back.

"Calvin, you don't know about that place, do you?" Hobbes snorted.

Calvin looked up. "Are you kidding? I hear that story twice a week in the cafeteria."

"Then you know about that thing?"

"Yeah, I know about the thing," Calvin snorted.

The thing that Calvin and Hobbes were talking about was a creature rumored to live in the school that terrorized the neighborhood. According to what they had heard, a new science teacher had arrived at the school. He was a bright young man, always jotting things down in his notebook and mumbling to himself. Some thought he was a genius, but others feared he was crazy. One day, he had been experimenting with some dangerous chemicals in the science lab after school. Suddenly, a cloud of toxic smoke exploded in his face, and he ran off and disappeared. It is said that a janitor was sweeping after school a few months later saw him again, only he was more deformed, and thus, the Teacher Creature was born. It had been seen throughout the neighborhood, scaring business away and ruining things for people. That's why this part of the neighborhood completely shut down, and now nobody can do anything.

"I don't care if the Grand Saint of the Hokey-Pokey is in there," Calvin snorted. "It's bound to have something cool in there! Besides, if we can get rid of the Creature Teacher, we can be heroes again! Just think of the fame! The glory! The absolute magnitude of money and gold!"

"I'll pass, thank you," Hobbes said. "I'm not interested in that stuff. I didn't sell my soul to the devil."

"Neither have _I_," Calvin protested.

"Yes, but you nearly did once."

"Well, it _seemed _like a good offer!"

Hobbes sighed and turned away in hopes of going somewhere else. "Come on, can't we live somewhere else? How about in the old dry-cleaning joint? We could live in the washing machines and sleep in the basins."

"Do I _look_ like a sissy?" Calvin scoffed. He grabbed his bag and scurried over to the fence.

Hobbes groaned. He grabbed his bag o' tuna and made a run.

They hurried over the fence and across the overgrown playing field. The positioned a teeter-totter so that they could be flung through the window. They placed the bags on it and jumped onto the other end, sending the bags into the window, smashing it. Then Calvin got on and Hobbes sent him flying through.

Hobbes groaned as he hurried over to the window so Calvin could pull him in. He looked around the creepy building.

"I don't believe in Creatures. I don't believe in Creatures," he repeated, and he was lifted up and into the building.


	3. What's That Sound?

Inside the gloomy old building, Calvin and Hobbes found themselves in a classroom.

"This is possibly the worst place we could have landed in," Calvin groaned.

"It was bound to happen."

The rows of wooden desks were long gone, and the chalkboards had been taken away too. The coatroom was empty, except for a few rusty hooks. Part of a pencil sharpener dangled on the wall. Old pictures had left their impressions on the walls. A few old homework papers had been left behind on the floor.

Calvin sneezed. "I haven't seen this much dust since I blew up the vacuum cleaner," he sniffed. "I can't believe the just left the place."

"Indeed," Hobbes agreed. "There's so much dust, I can barely smell anything. However, if my nose serves correct, someone had a peanut butter and pickles sandwich at some point in this room in 1955."

"Yuck!" Calvin gagged.

Suddenly, the worn floor beneath Calvin began to creak and buckle. He leaped aside quickly.

"This place isn't very safe," Calvin decided. "We'll have to be careful where we step."

"Let's get going," Hobbes decided.

Clutching their suitcases, the two tiptoed into the hall.

"Awfully quiet in here," Hobbes whispered. "I can actually hear the people in your head mess around with your brain like marbles."

"Shut up," Calvin groaned.

They slowly made their way down the empty corridors. They stuck their noses into all the classrooms on the first floor. They were all the same: dusty and deserted.

Finally, they'd searched the entire first floor after a whole hour.

"I smell lots of dirt," Hobbes said, "but not a whiff of tuna. Now I'm getting hungry."

"No problem," said Calvin. "You've got tuna."

Hobbes went for his suitcase and started to eat some tuna.

Calvin opened his own suitcase, pulling out the small bag of airline peanuts.

"This is stupid," he said. "There are only nine peanuts in here. This calls for a little assistance."

He reached into the suitcase and pulled out a small glowing box.

"Isn't that your hypercube?" asked Hobbes.

"Yep. Seeing as how it can store an infinite amount of objects, I packed in here what wouldn't fit in the suitcase, including…"

Calvin pulled out a familiar cardboard box from the hypercube.

"Oh…," Hobbes said. "I've suddenly lost my appetite."

"Ease up, sissy," said Calvin. "You won't be involved. This'll only take three seconds."

He put the package of peanuts under the box. He then turned the side with the arrow on it. He placed it on the word _DUPLICATOR_. He pressed a button. A little "boink" noise was heard. Calvin lifted the box and pulled out three packages of peanuts. He ate them down in nothing flat.

"Okay, I'm ready and thirsty."

They looked around some more. There was a drinking fountain still on the wall. Calvin tried to get a drink from it, but it didn't work. In fact, when he pushed the button it fell off.

"Oh, terrific," Calvin groaned.

_Thump-thump._

"Now I can hear your heart beating," teased Calvin.

_Thump-thump._

"I thought that was you," Hobbes replied.

_Thump-thump._

"No, that wasn't me."

_Thump-thump._

Calvin looked at Hobbes. "So if it wasn't your heart, and it wasn't _my_ heart, then whose heart was it?"

"Teacher Creature," Hobbes whispered nervously.

"I told you, the Creature isn't here!" Calvin said sternly.

_Thump-thump._

They jumped in fear again at the sound. It was louder.

Calvin looked again.

"But just in case I'm wrong for the first time ever," Calvin continued, "I suggest we calmly…RUN FOR OUR LIVES! Last one home is Creature bait!"

_Thump-thump._

Calvin and Hobbes grabbed their bags and whirled back towards the door. Unfortunately, the door was chained shut. They pounded and bashed it, but it wouldn't budge.

_Thump-thump._

"Is that to keep _us_ out, or keep the creature _in_?" Calvin asked spookily.

"Not funny!" Hobbes yelled. "Open up, you worthless piece of wood!" He fought with the door handle.

It was no good. The door was stuck and there was nothing they could do about it.

"Quick, this way!" Calvin shouted.

_Thump-thump._

The shot off down the hall like bullets, trying to get away from the noise. Each time they ran, however, it kept coming from a different direction. It was louder and louder each time.

"What do we do now?" Hobbes moaned.

"We pray for mercy," Calvin decided.

They dropped the bags and hugged each other.

_Thump-thump!_

"Hobbes, we need something thick and heavy to beat up the Creature! Give me your head!"

"Hey, it's _your_ fault we're in this fix!" Hobbes snapped. "Why did you make me fun away from home? I was happy there! We had tuna, TV, tuna, a bed, tuna, and most important, salmon! Oh, and did I mention the tuna?"

_Thump-thump!_

Whatever it was, it would be around the corner in less than thirty seconds. Calvin grabbed Hobbes' suitcase and ripped it open.

"Here's the plan," he said. "I'll blind him with the flashlight while you smack him with the cans of tuna. And next time, will you please pack some monster spray?"

Hobbes nodded nervously. "Old pal, if anything should happen to us, there's one thing you should know.

Calvin looked at Hobbes with tearful eyes.

"It's going to happen to _you_ first."

He swung Calvin in front of him like a shield.

"HEY!" Calvin yelled.

They stood there and waited for the horrible thing to appear.

_THUMP-THUMP!_

The Creature drew closer and closer. Calvin and Hobbes backed against the wall.

_THUMP-THUMP!_

It was nearly there. It was… It was…

Calvin turned on the flashlight.

It was a boy! Startled by the light, the boy stopped dribbling his basketball, which bounced across the floor.

"Who's there?" asked the boy. He was about eight years old, and he had a backpack slung over his shoulder.

"Hobbes, you mangy fleabag!" Calvin yelled. "It's just a kid!"

The boy came closer. "Who are you guys?"

"I'm Calvin," Calvin answered, extending his arm. "You're honored to meet me, I'm sure. This is my number one compadre, Hobbes."

"Charmed," said Hobbes.

"Hey, I know you guys. Didn't you hijack my sister with water balloons last month?"

"We're only doing our job, sir," Calvin said. "It's our job to defend the GROSS title."

"Right," Hobbes said.

"Well, I'm Andy," the boy told them. "So, what are you guys doing here?"

"Looking for sanctuary in this old crumbling school, what else?" Calvin said, motioning towards his suitcase. "Hobbes and me are trying to make it in this place that got killed by the Creature. We're gonna find it and destroy it and end the suffering."

The boy chuckled. "Hate to break it to ya, kid, but there's no creature. I've been here all day and haven't seen a trace of it."

"Did you smell tuna?" Hobbes asked hopefully.

"Not a whiff."

"So what brings you here?" Calvin asked.

"Same as you. I'm taking a little time away from home. You wouldn't believe how my parents treat me. I have to bring in the garbage cans on trash day. I'm not allowed to play video games after supper. I also have to finish my homework before I can shoot hoops."

Calvin and Hobbes stared at him blankly.

"Where's the bad part in all this?" Calvin asked.

"Yeah, we're not exactly basketball people, and we don't exactly play video games. Besides, you wouldn't believe the cool stuff you find in the bottom of the trash cans."

"I once found old bugs and maggots crawling over a piece of stale cottage cheese," said Calvin proudly.

"They make me eat broccoli," Andy added.

"Okay, _there _ya go," said Calvin. "That could be a problem."

"I don't really have any place to go, so I decided to hang out here for a few days to show I can't be pushed around. I'll probably get some more respect when I get back. I might get to shoot hoops all I want!"

Calvin snorted. "Well, _I'm_ staying here forever, as long as the Creature doesn't get me. You can bet it'll be cool around here. We'll swindle from chocolate bar salesmen and make surprise attacks with water balloons."

"Whatever," said Andy. "You guys can hang out with me if you want. I brought all my best stuff. I've got my CD player, hand-held games, comic books, baseball cards, some candy bars—"

"What kind of comic books?" Calvin asked.

"And the coolest thing of all…" From his backpack he drew a wriggling ball of fur. "…my hamster, Shermie."

"_Sherman_," squeaked the hamster. "The name is _Sherman_."

Calvin and Hobbes' eyes grew wide.

"Shermie, say hello to Calvin and Hobbes."

"I'll do no such thing." Sherman sniffed and turned his head. "I don't associate with common folk. Especially _smelly _common folk."

"You've got quite an attitude for a rat," observed Hobbes.

"Hamster!" Sherman corrected. "And you've got quite an attitude for a long, orange pole."

"Hey!" exclaimed Hobbes.

"You've got a talking hamster?" Calvin cried. "Radical!"

"Shermie used to work with my dad at the university," Andy told them. "They did experiments together."

"Really," said Hobbes. "Like, what makes a hamster explode?"

"Don't be ridiculous," Sherman protested. "I did some very important work in mazes. It was written up in all the scientific journals."

Hobbes yawned long and loud. "Wow, that's so interesting."

"Of course," Sherman continued, "_you've_ never been to the university."

"Tigers don't need a university," Hobbes declared. "Tigers already know everything. I've been doing Calvin's homework for years."

"Oh really?" Sherman replied. "Do you know what 360 times 4,002 equals?"

Hobbes thought for a moment. "Well, no," he finally admitted. "Do you?"

"It equals a very large number," Sherman said smugly. "If you'd been to the university, you'd know that."

Calvin rolled his eyes and pushed Hobbes away from the hamster. "Okay boys, break it up."

"Sorry about Shermie," Andy said. "He can get a little full of himself."

"Don't worry," Calvin said. "I know the feeling."

"Hey!" Hobbes snapped.

They would have gone on arguing, but Hobbes suddenly felt a disturbance.

"What's wrong with him now?" Sherman snorted.

"I think he senses someone coming," Calvin said. "He's being the great predator now."

Then they heard the scrape of footsteps down the hall.

"Someone else is in the building," Andy said nervously. "You don't think it's…?"

"Where's the kid?" Sherman asked.

Hobbes, Andy and Sherman looked around and saw that Calvin had disappeared.

"Mild-mannered Calvin checks his timing as his comrades are distracted. He ducks into a nearby closet to transform into…_STUPENDOUS MAN!_" he shouted.

The others didn't hear him. They heard Hobbes say, "I think it's time to hide."

They had to find a place quickly. The footsteps were coming nearer. Dropping the bags, the runaway tiger, boy and hamster ducked into the closet. The one Calvin was in.

"Hey!" he yelled. "I'm trying to be a superhero here. Do you mind?"

"I'm scared," Andy whispered.

"I'm squashed," Hobbes groaned. "Next time, we hide in separate closets."


	4. A Game of Calvinball and Some Odd Goings...

Slowly and steadily, the footsteps came closer. Squeezed inside the closet, Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Sherman kept perfectly still.

Suddenly, the footsteps halted…right outside the closet.

Everyone was sweating like a polar bear at the beach.

They heard a grunt. Then the footsteps resumed, stopped, started again, and faded away somewhere. Somewhere a door opened, the hinges squeaking with age and rust. Then the door slammed shut, and everything was quiet.

Moments later, the closet door burst open. The two humans and the two animals tumbled into the hall. "That was close," said Andy, sprawled on the floor.

Hobbes nodded. "Another minute and we'd have died from hamster breath."

"My breath smells wonderful," the hamster boasted.

"Whatever you say, Vermin," Hobbes replied sweetly.

"That's _Sherman_!"

Andy grabbed Sherman and jammed him in his pocket. "That's enough out of you," he said sternly.

Calvin, or rather, Stupendous Man, looked around. "It would appear 'whatever it was' picked up our things," he concluded in a heroic voice.

"What are you doing, Calvin?" Andy asked.

"Who?"

Hobbes whispered into Andy's ear. "That's Stupendous Man. You'll get used to it."

"At least he didn't take my basketball," Andy said.

"I still have the flashlight," Hobbes said. "All I lost was a few hundred cans of tuna. I can get by. I know I smelled some in here earlier. And Calvin can still get his other stuff back. I imagine it'll be hurled back at him at any moment once the Creature realizes what it has in the bag."

"Stow it," Calvin snorted.

"I had all of my best stuff in that backpack," Andy added.

"You still have Vermin," said Hobbes. "Maybe you can trade him to the Creature for your more valuable, not to mention more intelligent, possessions."

Sherman poked his head out of the pocket. "To quote Albert Einstein," he said, "'You stink, and so do your relatives.'"

"Einstein never said that," argued Hobbes.

"Did too," insisted Sherman. "It's in his theory of relativity."

"I don't think that's what he meant by relativity," Calvin said unsurely, now out of his Stupendous Man outfit. He came to a decision. "Andy, you and Sherman should probably get out of here. They'll probably go easy on you if you explain your sissy problems to them. I can't go home yet. My parents won't listen to me when I tell them that I saved the world once, and I'm going to regain my rightful title as hero by taking out that Teacher Creature! Besides, I still have to get my stuff back."

"Are you crazy, kid?" Andy exclaimed. "The Creature could be lurking around the next corner. You'll never make it out of here alive."

"I'm with Andy," Hobbes agreed.

"Does the term 'scaredy cat' mean anything to you?" asked Sherman.

"Does the term 'hamster burger' mean anything to you?" Hobbes shot back.

"Catch you later, Calvin," Andy said. "Good luck." Scooping up the basketball, the boy turned and walked down the hall towards a broken window.

As he climbed out of the building, Sherman squeaked, "Scaredy cat, scaredy cat…"

Calvin watched them disappear. "Poor kid just can't accept that his problems are stupid. Come on, Hobbes. What are we waiting for? Let's go find the Creature."

* * *

It was night. The boy and the tiger walked cautiously through the hallways, guided by the beam from Hobbes' flashlight. 

"This quite possibly the worst place we could've run away to," Hobbes groaned. "Next time we run from home like this, let's hide in a haunted house. I imagine it would be safer."

"Shut up," Calvin snorted. "I'm getting sick of your whining."

"Good. Now you know how _I_ feel at dinnertime."

Calvin was about to reply, but a startled rat skittered across the floor, making them jump.

"One of Sherman's cousins?" Hobbes pondered.

"Let's find a safe place to sleep," Calvin suggested. "We can look for our things tomorrow."

The beam of light revealed a door. Beyond it was a large room with a high ceiling and tall windows on two sides. Light from the streetlamps outside filtered through the grimy glass.

"Must be the old gym," said Calvin.

At the far end of the room, a basketball hoop still hung from a wooden backboard.

"Andy should've stayed," Calvin commented.

"Yeah, but the hamster should've left."

Calvin looked around and saw a dust covered basket ball on the floor. There were also some other sports equipment lying around. It gave him an idea.

"Let's play Calvinball!" he said.

Calvin pulled out a pair of masks and gave one to Hobbes. He picked up the basketball.

"We can use this instead of a volley ball. The baseball bats over there can be used as mallets and the tin cans can be used for moving wickets! Those old napkins can be used for flags! Let's play ball!"

Calvin and Hobbes got on opposite sides of the gym.

The Calvinball was on the dividing line.

"NOW!" Calvin shouted.

They charged for it. Hobbes grabbed it first. Calvin ignored him and dove between his legs and ran through an area that had light in it.

"I have entered the Enlighten Patch!" he shouted. "You now must surrender the Calvinball to me and hop on one foot for one minute."

"Curses!" Hobbes groaned. He tossed the Calvinball to Calvin and hopped on one foot. However, he moved forward towards a blue square. "Ah ha! The Blue Square of Joinky Elbows!"

"What does that do?"

"It means you must now flap your elbows up and down and cluck like a chicken!"

Calvin slapped his forehead and flapped his elbows and clucked. "Buc-buc-buCAW!"

Calvin had dropped the Calvinball, giving Hobbes the chance to swoop in and grab it. He dribbled toward the hoop. On the run, he flipped the ball off the backboard and through the basket!

"He shoots! He scores!" Hobbes roared. "That earns me twelve points, plus two bonus points for doing it with one hand."

"Darn it!" Calvin groaned. But a grin slipped over his lips. He dove forward and caught the bouncing ball. "I have the Calvinball again! I get to pummel you with it for twenty points!"

"But I am standing in the Perimeter of Immunity!" Hobbes said. "I am now covered by an invisible force field. Any throws that are at me shall bounce off and hit you. We don't want to risk another nosebleed, do we?"

Calvin stomped his foot. He dropped the ball and grabbed a bat.

"I have the force field penetrating mallet!" he declared. "Prepare to meet your maker, _and_ a surgeon!" He ran forward, waving the bat like a crazy guy.

Hobbes turned on his heel and grabbed another bat. He swung it at Calvin.

"I have a sword!" he yelled. "Any time it comes in contact with a human, it proves most lethal! Surrender!"

Calvin sneered and picked up a rock, whacking it through a tin can. "I made a shot! The score is now Ally to O'Malley!"

"Which is higher?"

"Ally and that level of points are mine!"

"Then prepare to eat your Ally!"

Hobbes bounced the ball again. He tossed it up and butted it with his head. The ball banked off a bleacher, clanged against the rim of the hoop, rocketed downward, ricocheted off Calvin's face, looped high into the air and dropped through the goal.

"Hoo!" he shouted. "That makes the score Rally to Ally. Rally is higher and mine!"

Calvin rubbed his head in response. "This must be how our ancestors played Calvinball." He picked himself up off the floor. "Someday, I'll slam dunk _you_."

Hobbes snorted and resumed. He hit the basketball with the bat, smashing a tin can.

"Heh!" Calvin said. "Good thing we ran away. Do you know what I'd be doing right now? Homework, taking a bath, something like that!"

"Oh, come on. Home isn't that bad!" Calvin told him. "We've got a bed to sleep in, Chocolate Frosted Sugar Trash that you get sick from, a girl to annoy, a club to work in and socks to flush down the toilet."

"I still stand by what I said before: Dad's socks _looked_ like toilet paper."

"Okay, so it's not the hamster home university, but at least _our _monsters stay under the bed. They don't come out." He pointed with the flashlight. "Like that one, for instance."

Calvin's eyes followed the beam and gasped. Hobbes' eyes bulged.

There, in its subterranean glory, was the Teacher Creature! It was about six feet tall and dressed in ragged clothes and worn-out boots. Its scaly green hands ended in long, sharp claws. Its face barely looked human!

Calvin smiled nervously at the monster. "You know, not anyone could wear an outfit like that, but the mutant look really works for you."

The Creature came toward them, its feet scraping across the floor. The runaways were too frightened to move.

Suddenly, Calvin grabbed something scurrying across the floor. Pointing it at the monster, he shouted, "Freeze, Slimeface! I've got a rat here, and I'm not afraid to use it!"

The Creature grunted and halted.

"Let me go!" squealed the rat.

"No way," Calvin growled. "I've got more to live for than you do. The new issue of the Pickle Partners in Space comes out tomorrow at the comic book store."

"Hey, wait! That rat can talk!" Hobbes said.

Calvin looked the rat in face. It wasn't a rat at all! It was a hamster!

"SHERMAN!" they shouted.

"What are _you_ doing here, Vermin?" Hobbes snarled. Sherman was possibly the last living thing he wanted to see right now.

"Sherman!" the hamster squeaked.

Calvin let the two of them fight it out. He grabbed the Calvinball and hurled it at the distracted monster. The monster let out a grunt.

"I declare it to be a tie!" Calvin shouted. "Run!"

He dropped the hamster, and the three of them took off in different directions.

Driven by fear, Calvin raced through the halls like a red and yellow meteorite. He ran in circles. He ran in squares. He ran up stairs and down. Finally, he stumbled into a room and collapsed on the floor, his heart pounding like an elephant skipping rope.

"I can hear the news report now," Calvin gasped. "Sweaty six year old genius mauled by monster. Film at eleven."

It was some time before he was able to sit up and look around. He observed his surroundings. It looked as though he wouldn't need the flashlight, and that didn't matter, because Hobbes had it anyway.

"It would appear I've located the basement," panted Calvin.

A huge old furnace squatted in the middle of the room, its pipes stretching far into the corners of the school like the arms of a giant spider.

"Odd," Calvin commented to himself. "Something smells a little familiar in here." He followed his nose, trying to be like Hobbes, to the furnace. Opening the steel door, he saw a worn, dented cooking pot with tuna fish stuck to the bottom. "What do you know? The Creature likes tuna fish. If he was bent on killing him, I'd bet he and Hobbes would get along just fine."

He thought for a while. Things just weren't making sense. Why would the Creature _cook_ tuna fish? Hobbes can eat it raw, so why can't the Creature. And why did he need a pot? And how is the Creature smart enough to know how to work the furnace?

He then noticed the light that helped him see was coming from behind the furnace. He squeezed around the side of it. Behind it was a space crammed with all kinds of things: a pile of old clothes; cardboard boxes; candles that produced the light. Matches on a small wooden table; plastic plates and cups; dirty blankets on the floor. And…a werewolf in the corner!

Calvin jumped back as the candles seemed to intensify the creepiness of the face of the snarling monster.

"Don't eat me!" begged Calvin. "I'm loaded with Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs! There's sugar in them! You fangs will fall out!"

Instead of pouncing the helpless child, the werewolf just stared in sinister silence. Calvin looked more closely.

It wasn't a real werewolf at all! It was a wax statue made to look like a pounding werewolf! Calvin looked at it touched, resulting in it tipping over.

"Things are just getting stranger and stranger," he sighed, wiping the sweat from his brow.

He peered around. The candlelight shone on the objects in the far corner.

"Our stuff!" said Calvin out loud.

Andy's backpack and the suitcases had been tossed carelessly aside.

Calvin tore open his suitcase and examined the contents. "Everything present and accounted for," he said, relieved. "And that reminds me—I'm starving. I'm sure Andy won't mind if I scavenge his backpack for food." He plunged a hand into the backpack, pulling out a candy bar that was slightly opened and nibbled on.

"I see Sherman likes candy bars," he said. He gobbled it down in one bite. Then he settled down amongst the stuff to grab a good night's sleep.


	5. The Library Surprise

Meanwhile, Hobbes was stuck with Sherman. This was the most talkative hamster he'd ever met.

"When I was at the university," Sherman was saying, "we did an experiment where—"

"Sorry, boring time is over," Hobbes announced. "We've got to find Calvin and get out of here."

Hobbes and Sherman slowly made their way through the halls. They peeked around the corners every time, alert for any sign of the Creature or Calvin. But the corridors were empty and still. Finally, they found the gym.

The basketball, bats and cans were still where they'd left them.

"Calvin?" Hobbes called softly.

"That's Andy's basketball!" said Sherman, pointing at the ball.

"It is?" Hobbes asked.

"Yes. He insisted on going back inside to get you guys for some reason that I'll never understand, and we found the gym. He played basketball, but then the Creature showed up and scared him away. I hid under the bleachers while you two played that silly game."

"Calvinball is not silly!" Hobbes protested. "It's the best game to play in this world. But I'm sure _you_ wouldn't know that, seeing as how all you did was run through mazes."

"Pah!" the hamster squeaked. "I'll have you know—"

"I'll have _you_ know that I don't want to hear a peep out of you until we find Calvin and Andy! They could be in serious danger!"

Sherman snorted and went under the bleachers to his hiding place to sleep.

Hobbes rolled his eyes and left the gym. He didn't care about Sherman one bit. He just wanted to find Calvin and go home. This wasn't the place for him.

Hobbes walked for what seemed for hours, calling to Calvin and Andy. He didn't want to stop searching for them, but he kept getting sleepier and sleepier. But he didn't want to fall asleep, should the Creature pop up and kill him. What to do?

Finally, he spotted the basement door. He decided to hide down there. He opened the door and went inside. He walked down the stairs and searched. He finally spotted something that made a light. It wasn't as bright as the flashlight, but he didn't care.

He aimed the flashlight at the source. He jumped in surprise. The long pipes of the furnace that looked like a spider were scary enough, but what made it scarier was that something spiky was popping up from up top. It was really the shadow of Calvin's hair, but to Hobbes, it looked like a hairy spider!

"AAAAAAHHHH!" he hollered, dropping the flashlight.

Calvin awoke with a start and he shot up.

The spikes above the furnace moved, and the shadows on the pipes shifted, making it seem as though the giant creature was moving.

Hobbes turned on his heels and shot back up the stairs. He was nearly at the top, but he found that the door was stuck.

"HELP!" Hobbes shouted.

"Hobbes?" Calvin called.

"Calvin?" Hobbes asked, calming down.

He looked back down and past the spikes, noticing that they looked familiar.

"Calvin, is that you?" he asked.

"Hobbes!" Calvin cried. "I'm back here!"

Hobbes ran past the furnace and spotted Calvin.

"Our stuff!" he cried.

"Yep! Hobbes, there are some kooky things going on around here! He cooks tuna, he has a werewolf statue, he can work a furnace and he has all this junk lying around back here! Either the Creature is a sophisticated monster, or something very weird is going on."

"Well, what do we do?" Hobbes asked. "Andy and Sherman are in the building and I can't find the kid!"

"I think we should get out of here. Andy's smart enough. He'll find his way out! Besides, who cares about Sherman?"

"Exactly what I thought. He ridiculed Calvinball."

Calvin put on Andy's backpack and picked up the suitcase. Hobbes picked up his own and they ran for the door, only to find it was stuck.

"It would take someone way stronger than us to open this door," Calvin decided. "We need to find a way out!"

Hobbes aimed the flashlight around the room. The light fixed on an odd looking cell.

"Why would there be a prison cell in an elementary school basement?" he wondered.

"Who cares? It's convenient. Look!"

There was a ladder leading up to a hatch in the ceiling.

They hurried over to it. Hobbes extended a claw and moved it around the keyhole until it finally opened.

"Okay, seriously," Calvin said. "How do you do that?"

"Confidential to the name of tigers," Hobbes replied.

Calvin and Hobbes scurried up the ladder and out into the open. It was after midnight, and they were exhausted.

Calvin looked around the old, overgrown playground. He spotted the jungle gym, which looked mighty cozy right now.

"It's not Embassy Suits," he decided, "but it looks good enough. The Creature could never squeeze through the bars."

They crawled into the little sanctuary and settled in. They unrolled the sleeping bags and pulled out the pillows, and they finally fell asleep.

* * *

During all this, Mom was getting angry. Calvin had not come home. He had missed his physical and dinner at the Derkins, and she was steamed.

"CALVIN!" she shouted for the fiftieth time that night. "GET BACK HERE!"

Dad came out of the house to join her. "Still no luck?" he asked.

"I can't believe him!" Mom grumbled. "He's deliberately trying to make me mad."

"Well, today wasn't a good day for him. After all, we were a little rough on him today, what with locking up the TV, taking away his tree house, taking him to the doctor, making him eat vegetables with Susie…"

"What's that got to do with it?" Mom snapped. "He should know by now that life isn't perfect!"

"Well," Dad went on, "life shouldn't have to be terrible."

Mom sighed. "Let's call some people and see if Calvin's been by them."

They reentered the house.

* * *

Calvin and Hobbes awoke to something poking them in their noses.

"What's going on?" Calvin whispered.

"It's Vermin," Hobbes grumbled.

Calvin groaned. "What do _you_ want, Calvinball hater?" he grunted.

"I want to get out of here," said the little hamster. "Can we please get out of here?"

Hobbes snorted. "I'd assume a hamster from the university could find his own way out by now. Isn't that right, Mr. Rat Pants?"

Sherman poked Hobbes' nose again. "Can we just leave now? I want to be back in Andy's bedroom. The cage is starting to sound very comfy right now."

"Wow, you gotta admire that in a rat," said Hobbes.

"He's right, though," Calvin said. "We need to get out of here. First, however, we need to _find_ Andy before we can do anything else."

"Agreed," said Sherman.

The hamster hopped into the backpack, which Calvin slung over his shoulder. They grabbed their suitcases and made a run out of the playground and back to the building.

They found a hole through the old wall, and they went through it.

"Where do we start looking?" asked Hobbes.

They walked towards the old library. The bookshelves were still there, and a few old books were still in piles.

Calvin was very impressed. "This is what should happen to all libraries."

Sherman sighed. "It'll be a sad day when _your _generation takes over."

Calvin responded by zipping up the backpack.

They searched the whole room, searching for clues. All they _did_ find was old bubblegum wads and a few piles of dust.

Hobbes looked around the old bookcases. He found something on a shelf.

"Check this out!" he said.

"What is it?"

"Roll on deodorant."

Calvin sniffed it. "Phew! This stuff _stinks_! It must be old."

"Wouldn't bet on it," said Hobbes. "The expiration date is set for this year. It's just a bad brand."

Calvin scratched his head. "That's odd. Does this make the Creature self-conscious?"

"I'd be too if I had to live in this place without a shower in it."

Calvin felt something poking him through the backpack. He unzipped it.

"What do you want?"

"You ate my candy bar!"

"What did you expect?" Calvin snorted. "I was starving and I was out of peanuts. Speaking of which, I'm thirsty."

Suddenly, they heard a familiar sound.

_Thump-thump._

They jumped.

"Creature alert!" said Hobbes.

"Hurry!" said Calvin.

They ducked into the old teachers' lounge.

The footsteps disappeared.

Calvin looked through the glass window.

"Okay, it's safe."

"Look!" said Sherman.

Calvin looked up and saw an amazing sight.

"A soda machine!" he exclaimed.

"And it looks fresh," added Hobbes.

Calvin took the pocket change from his suitcase and gave it a try. Much to his surprise, a can of soda fell into the dispatch. He opened it carefully, and then took a sip.

"It tastes like a cup of heaven!" he whispered.

"And it goes down _smooooooooth_," added Hobbes, quoting the soda ad.

Sherman was confused. "Is this just an example of product placement?" he asked.

"Who cares?" Calvin said, taking another gulp. "Fresh, delectable beverages at reasonably cost prices is enough to win _me_ over."

They left the lounge and walked around the school some more. Still, this left several questions unanswered…


	6. Reunited

Meanwhile, Mom and Dad had called everyone they knew, and they always got the same response: Calvin had stopped by asking if he could live with them, and they threw him out. Each time they mentioned it, Mom and Dad felt worse each time.

"You have to admit," Dad said, "we weren't exactly being fair to him. The tree house is his sanctuary, and being mean to girls is just something that boys do at his age. It's only natural. And besides, making him eat with Susie is pushing it a little too far."

Mom sighed. "All right, maybe we were going a little too far with the whole thing. Besides, we don't give that kid enough credit. He's just a six year old with a wild imagination. After all, how else could he come up with all those details to that little story of his? You remember it?"

"How could I forget?" Dad chuckled. "All that talk of some weird machine called the Imaginator and that guy with a cool car."

They really are idiots, aren't they?

* * *

Calvin, Hobbes and Sherman ran all around the building, looking for Andy.

"This is insane," Hobbes grunted. "How are we gonna find him?"

"Search me," said Sherman.

Calvin looked at his suitcase. He had an idea.

"Hey, look! The Creature!" he shouted.

Hobbes and Sherman jumped. "WHERE?" they shouted.

Calvin ducked into a closet.

Hobbes glared at where Calvin had once stood. "Don't _do_ that!" he shouted.

"What are you yelling at?" Sherman asked.

Hobbes and Sherman looked around hall. Where was Calvin?

Then they heard someone talking from the closet door. "While his comrades are distracted, mild-mannered Calvin ducks into a closet. Donning his red mask and cape, he transforms into… **_Stupendous Man!_ **DA, DA, DA, DA, DA, DU, DUMMMM!"

Hobbes groaned. Not again.

Calvin, dressed in his hero costume, burst out of the closet.

"What's he doing now?" asked Sherman.

"He's embarrassing me to end," Hobbes sighed.

Calvin sang out as he ran up the stairs to the second floor.

"Quiet, you fool!" Sherman called. "What if the Creature hears you?"

"That's the point!" Calvin shouted. "Once the Creature comes out of hiding, we'll save the poor lad and I'll use my stupendous strength to defeat the Creature."

Hobbes sighed in response. Sherman hopped up on his shoulder and they slowly made their way up the stairs. As they went up, some plaster dust showered down on them.

"That reminds me," said Sherman. "The ceiling of the Sistine Chapel in Rome is—"

"Hold the lecture, Vermin!" said Hobbes. "Something's going on upstairs."

"Indeed," agreed Calvin in a heroic voice. "We need to get up there right away!"

Calvin, Hobbes and Sherman scurried up the stairs.

"Hang on, Andy!" Sherman shouted. "We're coming."

Calvin led the way. He rounded the stairwell and dashed down the hall. His red cape flapped as he continued to shout.

"Creature! Come out; come out, wherever you are!"

That's what happened. The Creature came out.

Hobbes and Sherman froze in terror.

Calvin jumped the Creature, knocking it over.

"Eat Stupendousness, Creature!" Calvin yelled.

The Creature, much to Calvin's surprise, lifted him up and hurled him at Hobbes and Sherman, knocking them over.

Calvin's mask was blown off, and he picked himself up.

"Great Moons of Neptune!" he cried.

"Oh, just shut up!" Hobbes shouted. "We've gotta flee."

They ran for their lives down the hall.

"HEEEELLLLP!" they hollered.

The Creature was faster than they had thought. It was running after them at full force.

"Leave us alone, you big green freak!" Calvin hollered.

In all the confusion, Calvin's cape flew off. As they rounded a corner, it flew out an open window. It swooped around the front walk and got caught on the fence outside the building.

Calvin didn't even notice it was gone. He continued to run like a mad man after the tiger and the hamster.

The Creature then did something that they didn't expect. It shot green, gooey stuff out of its wrists. It hit Hobbes' shoulder, covering Sherman all over.

"This reminds of the food fights at the university," he said, trying to get it off.

"_Now_ it's starting to sound interesting," said Calvin.

"But how can a Creature made from a Teacher shoot gunk from its wrists?" Hobbes wondered.

"Less talky, more runny!" Calvin ordered.

They rounded a few corners until they finally tripped and fell. Sherman flew from Hobbes' shoulder and slid into a hole in the wall. Neither noticed him.

The Creature wrapped its long claws around Calvin's collar and Hobbes' neck.

"Put us down!" Calvin shouted. He turned to Hobbes. "Give him a can of tuna! The bad smell might knock him out."

"I beg your pardon?" Hobbes protested.

The Creature took Calvin, Hobbes and their things away.

He had conveniently forgotten about Sherman.

In the old classroom, Andy was sitting in a desk, not looking too proud.

Suddenly, the door opened. The Creature poked its head in, and then tossed Calvin, Hobbes and the bags into the room, immediately slamming and locking the door afterwards.

"Calvin! Hobbes!" cried Andy, getting up from the desk. "Are you guys okay? What happened?"

"Ol' Stupendous Man fails again," Hobbes replied.

"Shut up. You didn't even attack him! You're the laziest tiger in history!"

"Hey, do you think I'm stupid enough to attack something with supernatural powers?" Hobbes snorted.

Calvin rolled his eyes.

"How'd you get here?"

"The Creature grabbed while I was playing basketball. I couldn't get away, but Shermie escaped."

"He's probably in a better place now," Hobbes said.

"What do you mean?"

"Ignore him. He's an idiot," said Calvin. "Things are getting strange around here. We need to escape."

"I've tried," said Andy. "I can't break the windows, and even if I could, we're on the second floor. I tried the air ducts, but I can't get them open."

"Well, we're trapped," said Hobbes mournfully. "We'll be the blue plate special for the Creature."

"Unless Sherman can pull something off," suggested Calvin.

"Like I said," said Hobbes.

* * *

Mom and Dad were still searching for Calvin. They had left the house and were searching the deserted part of town. Just a plastic bag floating in the wind seemed to freak them out.

With them were Susie and her parents, Moe, Rosalyn and a ton of their neighbors, as well as the police. They looked in the old buildings for him and his stuffed tiger, but there was no sign of them anywhere.

"This is insane," Moe said angrily. "I have better things to do than look for Twinky. I don't care if he ever comes back. At least we'd finally have some peace."

"Seriously," agreed Susie. "I'd finally get to stop wearing a rain coat whenever I leave the house worrying about falling water balloons. He's the biggest jerk on the planet."

Rosalyn sniffed the air. "What's that smell?" she asked.

Mom and Dad instantly recognized the smell.

"That's tuna fish!" said Mom.

"Calvin must be nearby!" said Dad.

They hurried down the road towards the location of the smell. They skidded to a halt at the old elementary school.

"That's the Teacher Creature's home!" Moe shrieked. "Let's just back away slowly."

"There's no such thing as a Creature," Dad snorted.

"You are when you wake up in the morning," Mom muttered.

The police searched the area, trying to find a way in. During the search, one of them found something maroon colored waving on one of the metal poles. He took it over to Mom and Dad.

"Sir, Ma'am," he said, "can you identify this cape?"

Mom's eyes went wide. "That's Calvin's cape!" she said.

"That confirms it then," said the chief. "He must be in the area."

"How do we get in there?" asked Rosalyn.

A policeman took a crowbar out and pried the locks off of the gates. Everyone spread out and searched the place. They never thought to look inside.

* * *

Inside, Calvin, Hobbes and Andy were still waiting for someone to come. They were too miserable to think to look out the window and see people looking for them.

"What'll we do now?" Andy asked.

"We'll be served in a black cauldron and then dumped into the furnace," Hobbes said.

"Oh, come on!" said Calvin. "Stupendous Man may have failed us, but we can't give up because things look bleak! We will save the day by what's in our hearts! Not by what's in this dippy old cape!"

"What cape?" asked Andy.

Calvin looked at his neck. His cape was gone!

"Aw, man!" he whined. "That Creature must have stolen it. I can't _stand_ him!"

He stomped his foot down on the ground hard. That was a bad move on his part.

With a creaking roar, the floor under Calvin crumbled and the poor boy fell through the floor. The bags fell with him.

"CALVIN!" cried Hobbes and Andy.

They looked through the hole, and were relieved that Calvin's shirt had caught onto a splintered beam. The bags had scattered all over the floor.

"Help?" Calvin called up.

Hobbes reached down to pull him up, but the floor creaked some more, and Hobbes and Andy fell through the floor!

Hobbes grabbed onto the same splintered wood and dug his claws into it. Andy held on by his tail. Calvin's shirt ripped and he had to grab onto Andy's arm.

"This is a problem," Andy moaned.

"Thanks for the news bulletin," Hobbes muttered.

Calvin observed their situation. "If I estimate our weight correctly and factor in wind resistance, the velocity at which we'll hit the floor should be enough to cause a major boo-boo."

"Stop thinking!" Hobbes shouted. "We need some help. I can't hold on much longer!"

"Some tiger _you_ are!" laughed a familiar voice.

The three of them looked down.

There was Sherman, grinning up at them.

"Shermie!" Andy cried.

"Vermin!" added Hobbes.

"It's _Sherman_!" the hamster squeaked angrily.

Calvin looked around the first floor classroom that Sherman was in. He knew their stuff was around here somewhere. He spotted his suitcase in the corner.

"Sherman, push my suitcase underneath us! There's something in there that will help!"

Sherman scurried over to Calvin's suitcase. It took about two minutes, but he got it directly under Calvin. He unclipped it and everything poured out.

"What do you want me to use?" he called up.

"There should be a little blue glowing box down there. Put it directly under me."

Sherman started digging through the junk. He finally found the glowing box and placed it under Calvin.

"How could this possibly help you?" Sherman demanded. "There is no chance that this little box could possibly save you from being flattened."

"You don't know what Calvin can invent," said Hobbes.

"Pah!" said Sherman. "What a load of tripe. I can bet that the minute he lets go, he'll die. Based on research at the university, nothing of this density and size could possibly—"

Hobbes let go of the wooden beam, and the three of them fell straight into the glowing box, much to Sherman's amazement.

"Humana, humana, humana…," he stuttered.

Calvin reached out and pulled himself out of it, followed by Andy and Hobbes.

"How did you…?"

"Hypercube," Calvin said. "It can store an infinite amount of objects of any density and size. You won't find _that _at the university. I'll tell ya that."

"I guess that's sort of impressive."

Andy picked up his backpack, which Sherman jumped into.

"It was fun hanging out with you guys," he told them. "Maybe I'll see you around the neighborhood."

"And maybe I won't," squeaked Sherman.

"Wait, you're leaving?" asked Calvin.

"We've got to. My parents are probably going to kill me if I'm not home soon. Thanks for the help. We'll see you guys later."

"Well, hang in there, Andy," Hobbes said encouragingly. "Maybe someday you'll get a real pet instead of a know-it-all fur ball."

Sherman stuck his tongue out, then ducked his head inside the pack.

Andy waved and marched up the bleachers until he could slip out the window.

"That kid is cool," said Hobbes.

"Wish I could say the same for that hamster," said Calvin. "Come on. I'm not going to risk my butt around here just for a sissy title of hero. Let's get out here."

They turned down the hall.

"Hey, do you hear voices?" Calvin asked.

"Calvin, you're always hearing voices in your head."

"No, I mean, it sounds like Mom and Dad! They're looking for us! Come on!"

Calvin and Hobbes ran for their lives. Freedom and safety would be just out that door.

However, someone was determined to keep them from leaving.

The Creature jumped down from the balcony of the second floor and landed right in front of them.

"GROWL!" it said.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" yelled Calvin and Hobbes.

The monster made a swipe at them, nearly making the rip in Calvin's shirt worse.

Calvin and Hobbes screamed even louder, and made their way to the second floor.

"WE'VE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE!" Calvin yelled.

They ran down the hall, still screaming, and the Creature right behind them, still growling.


	7. A Chapter of Great Peril

Outside, Mom, Dad and the whole neighborhood could hear the noise going on outside.

"It's Calvin!" shrieked Mom.

"He's in the building!" said a policeman. "Let's break the door down!"

The smashed through the doors and scattered throughout the building.

"Calvin?" Dad called out.

"HELP!" yelled a petrified shriek.

Everyone looked up at the second floor balcony. Calvin, with a stuffed tiger slung over his shoulder and two suitcases in his arms ran over them with a scary, green Creature right behind him.

"Calvin!" everyone shrieked.

"I wanna go home!" Moe shouted. He ran out the door for home, but Rosalyn grabbed him.

Calvin rounded the corners with Hobbes right behind him. In his grasp was the suitcase with the hypercube in it. They ducked into a crease in the wall.

The Creature lumbered past. Then it doubled and went back.

Instead of Calvin and Hobbes, it found a little blue glowing box. He picked it up curiously and eyed it closely.

Suddenly, a little fist came out and bopped the Creature in the nose.

The Creature howled.

Then a paw with sharp claws came out a sliced his face.

"YEOW!" yelled the Creature.

He dropped the hypercube, and Calvin and Hobbes crawled out. Calvin jammed it back into the suitcase, and they scurried down the hall again.

"RUN!" Calvin shouted.

They ran up the stairs to the third floor, looking for safety. They found the art room, and they dove behind the desk.

"What are we gonna do?" asked Hobbes.

Calvin scoped out the room. He saw something yellow dripping out of the old desk. He quickly ran forward and tossed to paint bottles to Hobbes.

"When he breaks the door down, squeeze them."

The Creature burst through the door. Squeezing its wrists, it managed to shoot its green gloop out at them, barely missing them.

"Three can play at that game!" said Calvin.

Calvin and Hobbes squeezed the paint bottles. Four streams of green, red, yellow and blue shot out at the Creature, coating him in a sickly color.

"Wow," Hobbes said. "The color of barf."

They quickly ran over the Creature and down the halls again.

Next stop was the music room. They ran in and slammed the door.

The Creature ran in and saw Hobbes grinning up at him.

"Drum roll, please!"

Calvin took an abandoned bass drum and rolled the giant drum toward the creature, and then hurled whatever he could.

The Creature was almost flattened by the drum, and as they ran past, trumpet mouthpieces, drumsticks, and an entire tuba!

As they ran, they ducked into a locker.

The Creature lumbered over, practically beaten. By the time it opened the door to their locker, Hobbes tossed globe at it's head.

The Creature fell and tripped over Calvin's foot.

I don't know why Calvin and Hobbes were scared. They were handling this quite nicely.

They ran back over the balcony as everyone ran up the stairs.

Everyone missed Calvin and Hobbes, but they surrounded the Creature.

"You're goin' down!" yelled a cop.

Everyone closed in on the Creature. But this thing was tougher than they thought. It managed to grab onto them all and corner them.

Everyone cowered in the corner.

The Creature towards them, its fangs gleaming and its claws shining…

Up above on the roof, Calvin and Hobbes noticed that they were alone.

"What are we gonna do?" Calvin asked. "We can't face that thing up here!"

"This is probably the most dangerous adventure we've been on," agreed Hobbes. "This is making our trip in the Time Machine to the Jurassic Ages look tame."

"What'll we do now?"

"We need to do something. Is there anything in the hypercube we could use?"

Calvin took the hypercube and stuck his head inside. He watched all the stuff floating around in it.

"Let's see here…," he muttered. "Ah ha!"

He reached out and pulled out the cardboard box.

"What'll that do now?"

"We just need to add a feature onto the list of options."

Calvin jumped into the box and started working hard. He used a wrench and hammer, putting it all together. There was buzzing and whamming from inside.

"Can't you hurry up?" Hobbes yelled. "He could be here at any moment."

"Hobbes, this is a delicate procedure. This cannot be rushed," Calvin said calmly.

About thirty seconds passed, and Calvin finally finished it.

"Lo and behold!" Calvin said.

A word magically seemed to appear on the side with the arrow on it. It read DRILL. A long, metal drill appeared on the front, and box tipped forward.

"We can kill off the Creature with this! Come on!"

Calvin hopped into the box.

Hobbes gulped nervously, but then he put on a brave face. This was no time to be a coward. He would make those saber-toothed tigers from the museum proud. He got in the back.

"3…2…1…BLAST OFF!" Calvin shouted. He pressed a button.

The drill spun hard and fast.

Calvin and Hobbes quickly put on their goggles.

They dipped downward as the drill started to go through the roof. A hole began to show.

Suddenly, the drill stopped and broke a little.

"Maybe I should've spent forty-five seconds working on it instead of thirty," Calvin said.

However, all was not lost. The roof caved in.

The Creature was about ready to slice and kill everyone in front of him, but a shower of plaster fell from the ceiling on him. He looked up just as a cardboard box fell through the ceiling with a kid and his stuffed tiger in it. The weight caused the Creature, the box and our two heroes to fall through the floor and onto the first floor.

Everyone looked down and watched Calvin, Hobbes and the Creature roll around on the floor.

The Creature growled as he stood up, with Calvin on his shoulders.

Hobbes sank his teeth into the Creature's foot. The Creature howled angrily.

The Creature shoved Calvin to the floor, but Calvin's fear had vanished all of a sudden. He was tired of being afraid. All the fury he had bottled up over Mom and Dad, he released on the Creature.

"Feel the wrath of Stupendous Man, you big green freak!" Calvin shouted. He still didn't have his cape, but he put his mask back on, and he jumped the Creature.

Hobbes helped too by biting and scratching wherever he could. "I'll teach you to terrorize _my_ friend!" he shouted.

Calvin grabbed onto the Creature's head and squeezed it hard. "YOUR STRENGTH IS GREAT, CREATURE," he shouted loudly. "HOWEVER, YOU ARE NO MATCH FOR STUPENDOUS—"

He was cut off as he tugged at the Creature's ears. To his amazement, the head came off!

"…man?" he said, taken aback in shock.

Hobbes looked up. "Boy, they sure don't make monsters like they used to."

Calvin just gazed at the floppy rubber face in his hands.

"Will you get off of me!" yelled a male voice. "You way a ton!"

Calvin looked down. There was a bald guy underneath him with a beard and buck teeth.

"Who are you and what have you done with the Teacher Creature?" Calvin shouted.

The man managed to push Calvin off of his back.

"That does it! I'm tired of you people always barging in here, ruining my peace and quiet. I'm ending this now!"

He pulled a knife out and prepared for the kill. He was going to throw it at Calvin, but this kid was smarter than he'd thought. Calvin stomped on the floor hard. The old floor creaked and buckled, and he fell through it, falling into the basement. He crashed and was rendered unconscious with a stuffed tiger on his back.

"Way to go, Hobbes!" Calvin shouted, taking off his mask. "Hold him down!"

Everyone ran down the stairs to Calvin.

Mom and Dad scooped him up and hugged him.

"Oh, Calvin! You're alright!" Mom said.

"Don't touch me!" Calvin yelled. "This is your entire fault and you know it! You drove me out of the house on purpose because you can't stand me."

Dad sighed and put Calvin down. "Calvin, we just thought we were doing it for your own good," he explained. "We didn't think you'd go this far. Look, don't worry. We're letting you keep you tree house and the TV will come out of the closet. We admit we were a bit harsh."

A policeman walked forward and looked down at Calvin.

"Calvin, thanks to you, we can now restart business in this neighborhood. This man has been terrorizing people for years, and now that he's been caught, business will boom!"

Calvin beamed with pride. He and Hobbes were heroes again!

The policemen led the man away. Right before he was in the car, Calvin jumped up.

"Say, there's one thing I can't understand," he said. "How did you shoot off green goop from your wrists? I've searched the whole costume, and I can't find anything that you could've used."

"What are you talking about?" the man grumbled. "I never did that."

Calvin arched an eyebrow. Then he realized that the man's costume was a regular color! Didn't he and Hobbes squirt paint all over him? "Uhh…"

He was locked up in the car.

Calvin looked at Hobbes in confusion.

"Wait, if that wasn't him, then who was…?"

"Let's not ask questions," Hobbes said. "Let's just go home to peace and tranquility."

"Let's go, Calvin!" Mom shouted. "We're going home!"

Calvin smiled, forgetting the confusion, and he and Hobbes ran into the car.

They failed to notice the dark figure watching them from the window as it disappeared into the shadows…


	8. Epilogue

The next morning, Calvin awoke with Hobbes. It was Saturday, which was the best day of the week during the school year or during the summer.

"Hey, hey," said Calvin. "Look at me. I'm waking up in a real live bed. Not if you notice, a cheap sleeping bag that Dad bought from Sears.

They quickly got up and ran down the stairs. They ran into the kitchen. Calvin pulled some bread and a familiar box of cereal.

"Hello, what's this?" added Hobbes, eyeing the cereal. "Why it appears to be real live food! It's not cheap airline peanuts."

Calvin poured his bowl of cereal and added the milk and sugar.

"Okay, not real live food, but pretty close," Hobbes said, putting the bread into the toaster.

After the toast was ready and buttered, and they had poured equal amounts of orange juice, they went to the chair and reached for the remote.

"Hark!" exclaimed Calvin. "It be real live television. Not talkative hamsters and giant Creatures and such."

"Yeah," agreed Hobbes. "I like our home."

They sat there, eating breakfast and waiting for the cartoons to come on.

Mom and Dad walked past to get some coffee.

"Hey," said Dad. "I'll bet _you_ had fun yesterday, huh?"

Calvin rolled his eyes. "Yeah, being attacked by some Creature is a load of fun. Really something to write home about."

"Yes, but I'm sure you built a lot of character."

Calvin and Hobbes sighed as Mom and Dad left. Despite being heroes, things were basically back to normal.

"I swear, one day Mom or Dad will write Dear Abby and complain that I never write, phone or visit anymore."

They were still waiting for the cartoons, but they suddenly heard a scratch at the door.

"You wait here, Hobbes," Calvin said. "I'll go see what's there. It may be a Creature or something. We don't want you getting hurt."

Calvin jumped up and opened the door.

It was still dark out, and Calvin noticed a pair of glow-in-the-dark eyes looking at him menacingly. It pounced Calvin and he was sent rolling into the chair.

"OW!" he shouted. "ARRRRGH!"

He looked up and saw a lion on his chest.

"Help! Hobbes, do something!" he screamed.

"Sure."

Hobbes reached under the cushions and pulled out a couple bucks.

"Thanks for that, Lenny."

The lion took the money.

"No prob."

The lion got up and left.

Calvin looked up and stared at Hobbes.

"It was worth the five bucks to me," Hobbes said.

Dad entered. "What happened in here?" he asked.

"Oh, I just had a humbling experience," Calvin replied, getting back into the chair.

"Fine. Now let's talk about our upcoming camping trip."

Calvin looked up at Dad. He picked up the remote and attempted to turn him off. Dad ignored him.

"We'll talk about it another time."

Calvin snorted and returned to watching cartoons.

"Oh well," said Hobbes. "I guess summer isn't always _perfect_."

"You got that right," smiled Calvin.

And together they said, "Be it ever so boring, there's no place like home."

* * *

Up in the deep bowels of space, five galaxies away from our own, a prison cell was being tampered with. Human hands took a metal fork and wrapped his napkin around it. Then he reached up and pricked the electric batteries that were wired to the bars on the cell door. In a shower of sparks, the shut off, and the security system was totaled.

The human opened his cell, and he slowly struggled to get his remains out. He hadn't had a decent meal in a little over a month. He staggered slowly around. If it wasn't for the fact he was half-crazed from rage, he wouldn't have enough energy to stand up.

He searched the alien prison station. He looked all around for what he'd need. He scooted along the walls, carefully trying to avoid being detected by motion-sensing video cameras. He managed to use his nimble body to make over and under infrared beams.

Once he was out of the guard obstacles, he snuck past the meeting room and went in to the next room, which was the armory room. He snuck in and grabbed the biggest, most baddest gun he could find. He turned it on and took a blast at the wall.

The blast when through the wall and into the meeting room, disrupting a meeting in progress. Aliens went crazy, screaming like mad cows.

The man laughed maniacally. "THIS IS IT!" he shouted.

He burst out of the armory and started shooting his way through the aliens who were trying to stop him.

"Calm down!" shouted the captain.

"Make me!"

The man blasted through the aliens and dove out the door of the prison. He ran down the oxygenated planet and tore off down the streets for the palace of the leader.

Once he was there, he pushed through the gates and blasted all the guards. He ran through into the training room that was underground. He snuck in and grabbed all the weapons he'd need. Then he left the palace and ran for the airport storage facility.

In the back room of the main office, to familiar one-eyed, armless aliens named Galaxoid and Nebular were eating tunods and drinking feecoff.

"When's our azzip getting here?" asked Galaxoid.

"I don't know, but they're fifteen etunims late," replied Nebular.

Suddenly, there alarms went off, and a voice yelled, "**INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT!**"

Nebular rolled his eye. "I keep telling the azzip guys to ring the door bell."

Galaxoid looked over his, erm, shoulder. "It's not the azzip guy!"

The two aliens looked up and saw a familiar bald earthling with poofy sideburns.

"RETRO!" they screamed.

They turned and attempted to run away, but Retro grabbed them by their collars…well at least I _think_ they had collars.

"You two have two choices. You either take me to Earth so I can destroy that punk kid and his toy tiger, or perish right here when I strangle you."

The two aliens gulped.

"The Earth Potentate? But we can't! He's our friend! We—"

Their protests were cut short when Retro tightened his grips on their necks.

"Well?"

"_Okay_! _We'll help you_!" the two exhausted aliens cried.

Retro tossed them to the ground and kicked them into their seats.

"Pilot this hunk of junk back to Earth. I have a bone to pick with a certain six year old brat."

Galaxoid and Nebular gulped nervously. They turned on the ship, and took the air.

A few minutes later, a truck pulled up and a bright green alien got out, holding a steaming grey box.

"Who ordered the azzip?" he shouted.

_To be continued…_


	9. Bonus Chapter!

**Voice Actors:**

**_Pamela Segal…_ **Calvin

**_Ryan Stiles…_** Hobbes

**_Megan Cavanaugh…_ **Mom

**_Kurtwood Smith…_ **Dad

**_Daveigh Chase…_ **Susie/Rosalyn

**_Elizabeth Daily…_ **Moe

**_Colin Mochrie…_** Sherman/Policeman 1

**_Andrew Lawrence…_ **Andy

**_Drew Carey…_ **Teacher Creature/Man in the Costume

**_Dee Bradley Baker…_** Various Voices

**Soundtrack:**

**_Love is Coming Through the Door: _Stew: **Opening Theme

**_When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Get Going_: Billy Ocean:** Looking for a new home

**_Ghostbusters_: Ray Parker Jr.**

**_When I Look to the Sky:_ Train**

**_Run With Us:_ Kevin Gilis:** Running from the Creature

**_Be Your Friend:_ Michael W Smith: **Calvin and Hobbes reunite/Music Video

**_Get Through: _Mark Joseph: **Searching for Calvin

**_Attack of the Monster Briefcase: _The Flower Kings:** Unmasking the Creature

**_Whenever You're Near Me:_** **Ace of Base:** Credits

**_Ghosts:_ David Sylvain: **Credits

**_Anytime You Need a Friend:_ The Beau Sisters: **Credits/Sung by Calvin and Hobbes

**Lyrics:**

_Anytime You Need a Friend (Calvin and Hobbes Version):_

**Calvin: **When you're sad,  
When your Transmogrifier's gone low.  
When you're hurtling through time, and don't know where to go.  
Think of me-  
There I'll be,  
Anytime you need a friend.

**Hobbes: **When you're down,

And your Stupendousness runs out,  
Or if you're in trouble, heh, no doubt,  
It's OK-  
Turn my way  
Anytime you need a friend.

**Hobbes: **When you're scared, I will stay with you,  
**Calvin: **When your wagon's falling, I'll scream with you.  
**Hobbes: **When your heart breaks…  
**Calvin: **Excuse me?

**Hobbes: **…I'll ease your aches,  
**Calvin & Hobbes: **Whatever it takes, I'll do. Anytime you need a friend.

**Calvin: **All our lives…  
**Hobbes: **Anywhere we are…  
**C & H: **Just reach out-I'll never be too far.  
**Calvin: **When school's out in May, here I'll stay.  
**Hobbes: **Anytime you need a friend.

**Hobbes: **When you're scared, I will stay with you.  
**Calvin: **When your wagon's falling, I'll scream with you.

**Hobbes: **When a vase breaks…

**Calvin:** …G.R.O.S.S. plans we make…

**Hobbes: **Whatever it is, I'm in.

**C & H:** Anytime you need a friend!

**Calvin: **When school's out in May, here I'll stay!

**Hobbes: **From now until the summer's end…

**C & H: **Anytime you need a friend.

**Calvin:** I'll be there.

**Hobbes:** Taking care.

**C & H: **Anytime you need a friend.

_**Trailer:**_

**Narrator:** They mesmerized audiences all over the world with their first movie. Now they're back, and ready to rejoin the game of heroism.

**Calvin:** Dad's mutating into some hideous beast from the Planet Zorgywogry!

**Hobbes:** No comic books for the rest of the month.

**Narrator:** One is an inventor…

**Hobbes: **Isn't that your hypercube?

**Calvin:** It can store an infinite amount of objects.

**Narrator:** …who never says die.

**Calvin:** I'm trying to be a superhero in here. Do you mind?

**Narrator: **The other is a tiger who always says…

**Hobbes:** WE'RE GONNA DIE!

**Narrator:** They've made gadgets…

_Calvin fiddles around with the Duplicator._

**Narrator: **…they've made games…

_Calvin and Hobbes play Calvinball throughout the gym._

**Narrator:** …and they've made a new movie.

**Calvin:** We're not going to spend one more moment in this TV-hating, girl-liking, doctor-going-to environment! Pack your toothpaste. We're running away from this sickening wasteland those miscreants call home!

**Narrator:** This time, they're taking on a spooky old legend…

**Hobbes:** There once was a science teacher in that school, and when some sickly chemicals blew up in his face, he became the Teacher Creature.

**Calvin:** I don't care if the Grand Saint of the Hokey-Pokey is in there. If we can get rid of the Creature, we can be heroes again!

**Narrator:** Get ready for action…

_Calvin sees the werewolf._

**Calvin:** Don't eat me! I'm loaded with Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs! There's sugar in them! You fangs will fall out!

**Narrator: **…suspense…

**Calvin:** Donning his red mask and cape, he transforms into… **_Stupendous Man!_ **DA, DA, DA, DA, DA, DU, DUMMMM!

**Narrator:** …mystery…

_Calvin discovers the furnace and its contents._

**Calvin:** Something seems wrong here… _Pause_…why would the Creature _cook_ tuna? That's not how you do it!

**Narrator:** …and Creatures.

_Calvin and Hobbes see the Creature for the first time._

**Calvin:** Give him a can of tuna. The bad smell might knock him out.

**Hobbes:** I beg your pardon?

**Teacher Creature:** GROWL!

**C+H:** AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

**Narrator:** Calvin and Hobbes 2: Attack of the Teacher Creature

**C+H:** 3…2…1…BLAST OFF!

**_Also, to answer Swing's question, that was not Lenny the Lion in the school, I'll tell you that much..._**

* * *

Also, I have a little treat for you all...****

**Narrator:** They fired the imagination twice for millions around the world. Now they've returned to the big screen in an all-new movie.

_Calvin and Hobbes tumble out of the car._

**Narrator:** Calvin and Hobbes!

**Calvin:** Geronimo!

**Narrator:** Nickelodeon Movies proudly presents your ticket to the third installment of the Calvin and Hobbes movie series.

**Dad:** Everyone get in the car!

**Calvin:** Important day, Dad?

**Dad:** We're going camping!

_A spaceship soars over Calvin and Hobbes._

**Retro:** Get out've my way!

**Narrator:** But something has gone wrong!

**Uncle Max:** Hello?

**Dad:** Max, you've got to get over right away.

**Narrator:** Someone has returned to Earth…

**Hobbes: **Retro's back, and because of that, we're going to die!

**Calvin:** We can handle him!

**Narrator:** …and it'll take heroes with nerves of steel…

**Calvin:** All for one!

**Hobbes: **And one for all!

_Retro drives his car into the forest after Calvin and Hobbes._

**Retro:** I'll get you, ya little pest!

**Narrator:** …to bring the magic back.

_The car falls through a hole in the ground._

**Retro:** Sooner or later.

**Narrator:** This summer…

**Canoe Guy:** There are tales of treasure buried out there on that island.

**Calvin:** Grab the canoe! We're goin' treasure hunting!

**Dad:** Hold on there!

**Narrator:** …you're invited to unwind…

**Max:** We're going to go crazy!

**Narrator:** …take a load off…

_A load of sand is dumped all over Retro._

**Galaxoid:** Was that supposed to happen?

**Nebular:** I don't think so.

**Narrator: **…and experience life on the slow track…

**Max:** Yeeho!

_Retro's Claw-Car rips the campsite apart._

**Retro:** A treasure, eh? I'll beat him to it!

**Narrator: **Starring Dad…

**Dad:** There's no gold on this island.

**Narrator:** …Mom…

**Mom:** You and your roughing ways.

**Narrator:** …Uncle Max…

**Max:** I'm in. What's the plan?

**Narrator:** …and Calvin and Hobbes.

_Calvin and Hobbes are flung out of the Claw-Car and sail into a palm tree._

**Calvin:** This one's going down in the GROSS Logbook.

**Hobbes:** He's not getting a star by _his_ name.

**Narrator:** Calvin & Hobbes 3: Trouble Island. This summer, share the wonder with your family.

**Calvin: **If we don't get rid of him _this_ time, I'm quitting show business.

**Hobbes:** As if _that_ would work.

**Narrator:** Soaring into theaters July 20th, 2005.


End file.
